When Skyler was first born, I was in a bit of shock that she had been born missing fingers. I wasn't angry, I knew it wasn't my fault. But I was worried about the teasing that was to come. (And the way we hear about bullying on such a huge level, it is still a very real concern for me.)
I knew a boy growing up, from a wonderful family at my childhood church who had a similar limb difference to Skyler's, and I knew that he was a normal adult with a regular life. So my concerns weren't with tying her shoes, I remember he'd worn shoes with laces - and I was pretty sure that he didn't have to go have his Mom tie his shoes for gym class. They weren't with what she'd be able to do; because he was able to do anything any of the other kids were - he was an amazing soccer player.
Aside from the potential teasing; I wasn't worried about much. But I did want to know more and more and more about what she was going to face in life. So I started searching for everything I could about Amniotic Band Syndrome and Limb Differences - I found several great blogs. One was Born Just Right - She has a fabulous blog, and a beautiful little girl with a limb difference.
Which brings me to my actual topic... *lol*
Today she posted an excellent post "Beauty - How far should you go?" which touched on my big concern - bullying. She talked about a young girl recently in the news who had surgery to have her ears pinned due to teasing.
Reading her post, and the news article and watching the video... I went through a range of emotions. I felt bad for the child for getting teased. I was annoyed with the mother for going for surgery at such a young age. I was jealous, that a simple surgery could "fix" the problem.
I know Skyler is still young; we've only had a small handful of children who have noticed her difference; it's primarily adults who notice and comment. But having been through what we've been through with Skyler so far, and what we are preparing ourselves for in the future? I'm not sure what choice I would make in the situation where a simple cosmetic surgery could repair the "problem" -- My gut instinct is that I would not approve a surgery like that. That I would do all in my power to give my child confidence and self worth, to help her with ways to battle the inevitable teasing.
As we are, Skyler and I have already had a talk about her fingers. We've told her that some kids have red hair, some have blond, some have black. Some kids have blue eyes, some green. And some kids have ten fingers, some only have five. It's just how you're born and there is nothing wrong with it. Of course, she shrugged and ran back to playing with her baby dolls.
I suppose I just wanted to share the information; share my thoughts and just get it all out there :) Next up? A post with some fun photos...
